February 5, 2015
It’s crazy what happens when you talk to the right person and they help you see you – the great being you have doubted in the past, but continues to seep out of you anyway. Your greatness is apparent to those with the eyes to see what’s within and it is a blessing when they have the courage to call it forth and hold you accountable beyond your comfort. For me right now that person is Avalaura Gaither Beharry and she showed up right on time.
I’ve been connected to Avalaura via social media for over 8 years but had only one healing encounter with her before joining her Breakdown to Breakthrough: 6 Weeks to Living your Best Life healing & coaching program in January. People often say when the student is ready the teacher will come. Well I had just begun speaking out loud that I was ready for a change in my life. I was tired of feeling stuck but I needed some clear direction, some coaching, to move me forward. I received an inbox from Avalaura about a new program she was beginning and she wanted me to refer anyone I thought would benefit from the program. I immediately knew it was for me. I responded and received a consultation with her that confirmed without a doubt this opportunity had come for me.
I joined the program and from my very first one on one coaching call, my breakthroughs came rushing in. There were countless breakthroughs and many of them brought lasting clarity that has impacted my ability to create with a unleashed freedom I didn’t even consciously understand was missing.
Ten years ago I dreamt of opening my own juice bar, the kind of bar where people could get fresh, organic, chemical free, tasty, nutrition filled juice that would grant their bodies an energy to fuel and create healing within. I reached out to a consultant firm eager to find out how I could make my dream and vision a reality. Ten years ago fresh organic juice bars were not the rave they are now, so my vision was dismissed. The consultants told me I should have pre-packaged juice or a business mirroring the up and coming and popular Jumba Juice stands springing up everywhere. Since that wasn’t my vision, I declined to move forward. I instead walked away discouraged and because I hadn’t dealt with some things buried in my past, I did what I often did back then – I stalled my dream.
In my work with Avalaura, I uncovered some childhood scars and the graves I had instinctively created to bury the pain surrounding those events. My parents divorced when I was 5 years old and I didn’t realize I was still holding on to “stuff” from that experience. I was a daddy’s girl and we spent lots of quality time together after the divorce but there’s nothing like the experience of growing up with your daddy in your home. I remember so vividly the feeling of daddy coming home and me running into his arms excited to see him and about the gifts he had brought me from his time on the road. My daddy was a musician and he traveled often. He would always bring me something special home and I would shriek with excitement as I unwrapped the gift. I hugged him tightly with joy and then planed myself in his lap, to watch television for what seemed like hours. I didn’t care what we did as long as we did it together.
Imagine my devastation when I came home from a weekend with my cousin only to find all of daddy’s things gone and my mom telling me he was never coming home. That day through my tears, confusion and disbelief, I locked away a piece of my heart and created a wall when it came to wholehearted trust in loving relationships.
I am so thankful that coupled with the one on one coaching I’ve done with Avalaura and the other components of her Breakdown to Breakthrough program, those walls are tumbling down. I understand now that I married myself to “security and control” and in order to continue being creative, I have to divorce the stronghold they created in my life. As I release them – control and security – my creativity grows and flows beyond what I am capable of on my own.
Since the program ended, I have continued my work with Avalaura because I have much more healing to do and I appreciate the clarity she has brought into my life. My breakthroughs have led to the resurrection of my dream/vision for opening an organic, fresh juice bar and I have put action to that dream. Here are some of my actions in no particular order:
I have launched my blog –flooded with nutritious and delicious juicing recipes, I have created an online blog to release them – thehappytongue.com
I have created a large testing group for my detox and juice recipes – I was always afraid that I would fail at making a great product so I kept my gift for my family and myself. Stepping out to ask others to give me feedback was way out of my comfort zone but with shaky hands, I did it anyway. I’ve gotten rave reviews from my test group and they are propelling me to move faster in getting the products properly packaged.
I master my passion – Another fear I had was putting a product out that would harm instead of help. The simple solution was to thoroughly research first. So now instead of an extra hour of Scandal off my DVR, I spend time researching each ingredient for its effectiveness and health benefits.
I utilize my community – when fear arises and beckons me to retreat, I reach out to my #breakthrough2015 community and refuse to stay paralyzed in silence which leads to paralysis of actions for me.
I give myself credit – I re-launched a radio show I had co-hosted in the past. As I listened to old recordings in preparation for the show, I caught a glimpse of what Avalaura has always seen. I am amazing and great! I now give myself credit for what I’ve done well and am not afraid to tackle what I need to grow in….
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